A certain smile,
a certain face
Can lead an unsuspecting heart on a merry chase
A fleeting glance can say so many lovely things
Suddenly you know why my heart sings…
Like many old love songs, I like this one. It speaks of the wonder of love at first sight.
Love at first sight. I don't subscribe to the idea that "love" can be felt instantly. Studies show that the mind can fool us into thinking that we feel "love".
What is love anyway? How do we recognize that it is "love" that we feel? Our hearts beat fast, breath shorter, we feel warm inside from the pit of our stomach to our cheeks, our eyes soften involuntarily, and we run out of words everytime we encounter the object of our affection, whether physically or by mental activity. Our minds record this surge of biochemical reaction and search for existing definitions in our memory bank. When our socially learned semantics surface, our mind associates these physical activities with that definition. And then we call it "love".
Unfortunately, our minds are often in a hurry to organize our thoughts. It cannot bear mysteries for long periods or accommodate dissonance with existing beliefs and values. Hence, it closes in on the nearest available definition it can recognize; one that seems consistent with our previous experiences. So at the first onset of fast heartbeat, it chooses from: hate, anger, fear, and other excitable feelings previously defined in its bank. Our instinct is to survive, to protect ourselves. Therefore, our minds immediately eliminate threats or come up with a quick practical response to shield ourselves.
If it's none of the negative emotions, it chooses the positive categories: liking, love, fondness. And oh, what can be a better choice than love! Imagine the hope it brings you- that you can keep this feeling for a prolonged period and that you are able to make the object feel the same.
The confusing part is this: don't our bodies also react similarly when we recognize a familiar element in this object? Or even when we are faced with an unfamiliar stimulus? When the object reminds us of a similar object, when the situation resembles a familiar scene, whether pleasurable or not, our bodies quickly manifest responses beyond our conscious control.
Our minds do not rest until it comes up with the nearest possible definition. Yes, it is not always the mind that knows firsthand. We are animals, and under normal dispositions we are perfectly equipped with all the physical detectors we need to survive in our environment. And this includes an efficient facility to process and organize our thoughts; efficient, but not necessarily effective in all cases. Our individual cognitive capacities differentiate our running logic, but there exists still logic for each.
But of course this is just an objective evaluation of love. Who cares about how our feelings are processed? Or how our feelings are fooled by our very own minds? We want to feel. We strive to feel. To love, be loved, fall in love, with just a certain smile...
Like many old love songs, I like this one. It speaks of the wonder of love at first sight.
Love at first sight. I don't subscribe to the idea that "love" can be felt instantly. Studies show that the mind can fool us into thinking that we feel "love".
What is love anyway? How do we recognize that it is "love" that we feel? Our hearts beat fast, breath shorter, we feel warm inside from the pit of our stomach to our cheeks, our eyes soften involuntarily, and we run out of words everytime we encounter the object of our affection, whether physically or by mental activity. Our minds record this surge of biochemical reaction and search for existing definitions in our memory bank. When our socially learned semantics surface, our mind associates these physical activities with that definition. And then we call it "love".
Unfortunately, our minds are often in a hurry to organize our thoughts. It cannot bear mysteries for long periods or accommodate dissonance with existing beliefs and values. Hence, it closes in on the nearest available definition it can recognize; one that seems consistent with our previous experiences. So at the first onset of fast heartbeat, it chooses from: hate, anger, fear, and other excitable feelings previously defined in its bank. Our instinct is to survive, to protect ourselves. Therefore, our minds immediately eliminate threats or come up with a quick practical response to shield ourselves.
If it's none of the negative emotions, it chooses the positive categories: liking, love, fondness. And oh, what can be a better choice than love! Imagine the hope it brings you- that you can keep this feeling for a prolonged period and that you are able to make the object feel the same.
The confusing part is this: don't our bodies also react similarly when we recognize a familiar element in this object? Or even when we are faced with an unfamiliar stimulus? When the object reminds us of a similar object, when the situation resembles a familiar scene, whether pleasurable or not, our bodies quickly manifest responses beyond our conscious control.
Our minds do not rest until it comes up with the nearest possible definition. Yes, it is not always the mind that knows firsthand. We are animals, and under normal dispositions we are perfectly equipped with all the physical detectors we need to survive in our environment. And this includes an efficient facility to process and organize our thoughts; efficient, but not necessarily effective in all cases. Our individual cognitive capacities differentiate our running logic, but there exists still logic for each.
But of course this is just an objective evaluation of love. Who cares about how our feelings are processed? Or how our feelings are fooled by our very own minds? We want to feel. We strive to feel. To love, be loved, fall in love, with just a certain smile...
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