I’m not big on closures, although these are the kind of scenes that provide for some of the best lines in a film.
Unfortunately, many of the people I know have need for closures. Fortunately, they are, as expected, gone from my radar.
Of late, I feel compelled to think about closures. Simplified, a closure is supposed to help people to move on. It is freedom from a past that left questions that are vital for more effective future functions. While these gaps are filled out in time and our system, designed to survive and upgrade itself, is drawn towards positive rather than negative energy, some of us are predisposed to relive the past and gone.
In 2004, I met Ute at a popular coffee shop. We already had dinner the night before, some fifteen years after we ended our university love affair. The invite for coffee was quite unexpected and unnecessary, but I had time.
For fun, I allowed him to choose coffee for me. Voila, he guessed right supposedly from memory of my taste. And as we talked about everything under the sun, except work, out of the blue there was silence and the question- what happened to us?
I hate reminiscing details of how my heart was broken. I could tell at that moment that he hated it as much as I did. But we kept going, filling in what the other could no longer recall, from how we first met to the moment I closed the door. In between, I’d say it excited us both to know what the other was thinking at specific points in the past. Until it came to the real reason why we broke up.
Unfortunately, many of the people I know have need for closures. Fortunately, they are, as expected, gone from my radar.
Of late, I feel compelled to think about closures. Simplified, a closure is supposed to help people to move on. It is freedom from a past that left questions that are vital for more effective future functions. While these gaps are filled out in time and our system, designed to survive and upgrade itself, is drawn towards positive rather than negative energy, some of us are predisposed to relive the past and gone.
In 2004, I met Ute at a popular coffee shop. We already had dinner the night before, some fifteen years after we ended our university love affair. The invite for coffee was quite unexpected and unnecessary, but I had time.
For fun, I allowed him to choose coffee for me. Voila, he guessed right supposedly from memory of my taste. And as we talked about everything under the sun, except work, out of the blue there was silence and the question- what happened to us?
I hate reminiscing details of how my heart was broken. I could tell at that moment that he hated it as much as I did. But we kept going, filling in what the other could no longer recall, from how we first met to the moment I closed the door. In between, I’d say it excited us both to know what the other was thinking at specific points in the past. Until it came to the real reason why we broke up.
There was silence. And more silence.
And then another silence, and a look that was more like a fresh wound rather than a scar. And just because he can swing it, he delivered a full song. In the middle of the coffee shop. How I wished it was a bar and that I was drunk.
For all grace, all evenings end as this one did. Tedious.
I came home to JS, just happy to have chosen him.
Recently, I had a discussion with JS regarding closures and how I am fine without it. He tells me, “That was why I couldn’t let go of you. It’s like you to just leave. It’s like you to leave more questions than answers.”
Sigh.
Here is my one answer to all needy of closures: If it’s not yours now, it’s not. Save blood.
And then another silence, and a look that was more like a fresh wound rather than a scar. And just because he can swing it, he delivered a full song. In the middle of the coffee shop. How I wished it was a bar and that I was drunk.
For all grace, all evenings end as this one did. Tedious.
I came home to JS, just happy to have chosen him.
Recently, I had a discussion with JS regarding closures and how I am fine without it. He tells me, “That was why I couldn’t let go of you. It’s like you to just leave. It’s like you to leave more questions than answers.”
Sigh.
Here is my one answer to all needy of closures: If it’s not yours now, it’s not. Save blood.
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